Can't Believe My Daughter is Two / She's Only Two

I'm constantly alternating between these two sentiments.  On one hand, I still think back to the day Sophie was born and the early weeks of her life, which I remember so well despite the sleep-deprivation -- and I just have trouble accepting how much time has passed, how much we've been through.  Only the photos can convince me.  I imagine I'll be thinking about my children this way for the rest of my life.

On the other hand, Sophie is now in a phase that has turned out to be more difficult for me.  At two, there is a confounding discrepancy between what she can and can't do, and of course her own little personality gives this stage its own quirks.  For example, she knows probably close to a thousand words, but still hasn't mastered the use of "yes" and "no" as answers to questions.  She can use my ipod almost like a normal person, but she has no idea how to put on or take off any article of clothing.  She can name almost any item I might put on her plate to eat, but can't bring herself to swallow almost any of them.

And of course, kids are different.  I can't help but compare her (and myself) with other families, which gets me to asking myself, "why haven't you taught her to put on/take off her shoes yet?" or "why did I care so much about the mess it would make if I let her practice with her spoon early?"  In general, she's very well-behaved, but we still have some issues with squealing as her instinctive response to frustration.  I remind myself, she's only two.  She can't control her emotions, which are the driver behind EVERY action she takes right now.  There is no such thing as logic or reason in her world, even though her manner might make it seem otherwise.

I count myself lucky that one emotion she really never seems to express is a desire for more of my attention.  I've read how many kids her age will act out in various ways, seeking attention.  Sophie just never does that.  Even her squealing, while it does often signal that she needs my help somehow, is very self-oriented.  Not that I think there's anything wrong with attention-seeking kids, just that I think Sophie and I are well-matched this way because there sure are a lot of things I like to focus on during the day that don't involve her!

But I've definitely entered my first period of anxiety about my own parenting.  My main source of concern is the lack of creativity and adventurousness that I see in her.  She spends almost all her time doing imitative play, and I've just recently realized that almost everything she says -- even though she says LOTS of things -- is pure repetition.  And of course our food issues are the best example of how unwilling she is to try new things, but I've recently realized the extent of that reluctance as I've tried to get her to attempt other activities she hasn't done before.

I do want to respect her natural personality traits, and if she is just not a particularly adventurous person, it won't bother me.  The problem is that I myself am not particularly creative or adventurous.  It's not easy for me to think of activities with my kids that foster these qualities.  But I think creativity is hugely important to develop, and to me it seems like more of a skill than a personality trait... something you can get better at with practice.  So my point is, I would hate for Sophie's creativity to be hampered by my inability to bring it out in her.  And I worry that it is.

Well, I'll finish up here with some general updating.  Not many changes this month; mostly we've just been settling back into our home routine, which I think Sophie enjoys.  She likes going to the grocery store and the library, which are our main destinations these days with the weather so hot.  We've been taking her to the nursery at the church on Sundays.  She likes it when we're there with her -- not playing with her, just in the same room -- but when she notices we're gone, she's basically inconsolable.  We're going to just keep going every week, in the knowledge that eventually she'll be ok there by herself.  Surprising... it really isn't like her to freak out when we're not around... or at least, it didn't used to be like her.  Her eating is still getting worse.  All I can do is just make sure the calories she gets are good ones.